E. Spencer Walton

There is a huge emotional cost for yourself and your spouse. If you have children, the filing of a divorce has a devastating emotional impact on all children, regardless of age.

 It is strongly suggested that you consider counselors, therapists, your Clergy, or close friends to discuss your feelings, the reactions of your spouse, and, most importantly, the impact that this might be having on your children. Quite often, the children find great relief in being able to express their views privately to their own counselor. Often, children also vent their concerns to their friends.

The difficulty with children is their age and inability to properly put into context the problems their parents are experiencing. Despite their age, they are not adults, and they should not be involved in any way, shape, or form in the communication between the parents or the parents’ friends or family. It is important that you never disparage the other parent to or in front of your kids and encourage a continued meaningful relationship with the other parent. Remember – you are getting divorced from your spouse; the children are not.

While it may be difficult at times, try to keep the needs of your children in the forefront. Attempt to work with your ex-spouse to create a parenting time plan that works for both that gives the children meaningful and ongoing communications with each parent. Try to be flexible. Indiana’s Parenting Time Guidelines will provide you with a framework to work from in the event you and your spouse cannot create an amicable schedule on your own.

Finally, with regard to the emotional aspect of the divorce, bickering, fights, and vindictiveness leads to direct telephone calls to your lawyer to take action to protect you or your children. These lead to petitions being prepared and filed with the Court that often include attendance at Court hearings, all of which cost a lot of money in the form of attorney’s fees. Please keep in mind that the more this takes place within your relationship, the more money it will cost to have you represented.

This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute legal advice.

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